Polly: Athlete!

I’ll tell you all about the story of the kayaker and the queef in the night. They say that Polly is a wanted man, he makes his way all across the land! And then it’s all gone. Hey, don’t write yourself off yet. Just try your best, try everything you can.

Too true man, too true!

You know you’ve made it big if you can go by only one name.  Polly.  In fact Polly encompasses everything that is big. Like Prince, Cher, Madonna, Bono, Pocahontas and Sophie Ellis Baxtor, Polly is at the top his game.  Now, we know what you’re thinking… “If he’s at the top of his game, why have I never seen him?”.  Well the truth is, you probably have! Be it on the cover of  Holding Your Kayak magazine or running all the way across town in his socks with his shirt tied around his head in the middle of the night, chances are you’ve come across the Big Guy. You might have even found him sleeping in the back of your bakkie. These are just a few of the things that have taken Polly from an ordinary one-namer to athlete status. Here at Fish Munga we take pride in bringing people the real world; going behing the scenes, which is why we’ve decided to bring you the inside story of Polly: the myth, the man, the legend.

Ironically, Polly’s natural habitat in not on some distant river or at some remote surf spot. It’s not even at Johnny’s Rotti. Sure, he does do these things. What we mean to say is; he somehow manages to find time to do these things when he’s not behind his computer. It’s not possible to love a human baby as much as Polly loves his computer.

We’ve seen Polly take his computer to the movies.  He’s literally connected to the Internet from an aeroplane, mid-flight. In fact, Polly might be the first person to ever suffer from Death by Double-Click. There’s no cure for that!

When it comes to fashion, Polly’s kind of a big deal! Who else could possible pull off getting bounced from a club for wearing slops, only to return wearing the same slops completely covered in duct tape? Not only did they let him in but there are now a pair of shoes that look remarkably similar with a Nike tick on the side. If NASA saw those, they’d sneeze in their pants! We’ve seen Polly at the bar wearing a high visability reflective jacket complete with neck-tie and a pen in the top pocket. Another time Polly went out in a skin-tight rash vest with his name on the back, only the body trunk was completely missing. The list just goes on, as Polly cruises the scene breaking ground and hearts all along the way.

Polly is a loving man. He’ll cuddle you to death, and thats no euphemism! If you’re feeling a little down, or if you haven’t seen Polly in a while, or even if theres just been a longish silence, you will hear the words “come in for the real thing” followed by a generous hug. We were sitting around one night when we heard a russle in the bushes. We all thought there might be someone there so we started to prepare ourselves for the ensuing onslaught only the see Polly disappearing into the bush saying “hey come on… who needs a hug. lets just show some love here.”

Don’t worry, you’ll be forgiven for assuming that Polly is one of Sweden’s finest. Your mistake would not be the first. The truth is, Polly is more Jew than Nazi.  Whatever the case may be, make no mistake that when Polly gets onto the water, he thrives. We’ve always said that Polly thinks only about three things: sleeping, eating and kayaking. Now, Polly is passionate about the first two, especially eating. If he’s ever in your area, get him to whip you up one of his delicious wraps or even a stew, but when he’s in his kayak, Polly is always looking for the biggest waves to throw on and the biggest drops to stomp. Polly loves kayaking. And mangoes.

Check this clip for some fresh insight behind Polly’s success with the ladies…

~ by fishmunga on March 5, 2010.